Sunday 3 November 2013

More changes

Well it is a terrible shame how work and family stuff have taken so much of my time that I haven't updated my blog in such a very long time.
I was just look at my last post, from the start of 2012. Reading about the slide of my sexual orientation and my feelings at the time. It really is a snapshot in time.
As you can imagine, even though my work has been all consuming since 2012 due to me being the sole breadwinner at various times during that period, my feelings and needs have moved on. I have to say the orientation slide has continued, most of the time my interest is in other t gurls and guys these days. I have noticed that my testosterone levels must have really reduced (no doubt due to my age), erections are much fewer and are hard (sorry about the pun) to maintain for very long.
In short my outlook is becoming more and more feminine. Most of my clothes are actually female clothes and I must present a somewhat androgynous figure these days.
A few months ago, I realised that my so and I had not had sex for more than six months, she isn't interested and I'm beginning to doubt that I could actually perform for her. We rub along in a comfy way, but sex is no longer part of the equation. Strangely that realisation has really helped, I feel that for the first time in my adult life I have the option to be the person I would like to be and no one gets hurt or disappointed because I can't perform. I is a real relief.
I still get turned on very regularly but it feels different, maybe more in the head some how, the most powerful sexual experiences have for a long time been ones where I am penetrated, not the other way round and recently that has become more and more the case.
I have found through a lot of reading up a small number of herbs that will genuinely feminise my body at a slow gentle rate. This way the changes are less likely to arouse any comment through being too sudden. The herbs are Saw Palmetto which works as an anti androgen and Pueraria Mirifica, which is the most powerful phyto oestrogen available. Most people who use these herbs seem to get some results, so watch this space. I may add Fenugreek to the mix as it is known to help with fat re-distribution so that I will hopefully get a smaller waist and a bigger more rounded bottom which would be nice.
I better close now but I will try to enter up any physical changes on this blog when they happen. (I have just start the regime today)

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